How to cope with the loss???
Loss of loved ones is devastating no one can quantify the feeling and emotions for the loss. It’s difficult to cope with the loss. It could be siblings, spouse, children or parents but it’ll always be painful and difficult. Different people react differently to loss. There’s no certain fixed duration of the reaction and emotions, but everyone goes through the stages.
Stages of Loss:
How did I face the Loss of loved one?
Did I cope with my loss well?
Does knowing makes it easier?
Coping with loss is difficult for everyone no matter what the situation was.
Accept the Loss:
Everyone’s first reaction to loss is denial or disbelief so to cope with the loss we should, first of all, accept the loss. Even when our every emotion is amplified like shock, confusion, yearning, despair, guilt or anger we should still face them all and persevere. There’s not fixed duration for acceptance but it’s certainly the first step.
Don’t keep the pain inside:
Don’t suppress the pain you’re feeling, let it out. You might just worsen the situation. Everyone is grieving so just let it out no one would judge you. Everyone needs everyone in the moment of loss.
Share what you’re feeling:
Talk to people who loved ones. Share your thought and memories. Remember good and bad times. You’ll get through it too but healing takes time to take one step at a time.
Nothing is the right thing to say to the ones feeling the loss. So just be genuine and abstain from mentioning fake things like “it’s for the good” or “things would get better” they’re the worst things to say.
Just being there counts.
Stay away from people who are fake and non-compassionate:
Even though it’s difficult to avoid fake relatives but it better to surround yourself with people you love or are compassionate. Those who are grieving would understand and even be a good wordless company you crave for. Avoid people who are cruel enough to be non-understanding for you. Things like “why aren’t you still over it” or “I get over everything in few weeks only” or “I’ve faced and conquered loss too” are very emotionless sentences which hurt a lot. Take your own time there’s no rush. Just make an effort to cope with the loss. Things would fall in its place just give yourself time to heal.
Don’t harbor Guilt:
Feelings like “I couldn’t do better” or “I couldn’t even say bye” or “I couldn’t even meet them for the last time” they never help. It’s not your fault you’ve tried and given your best according to the circumstances. Don’t compound the loss with a feeling of guilt too. Your love would not be diminished if you missed the last goodbye or visitation. Just cherish the memories. Direct your energies in self-healing, not in self-induced and self-inflicted guilt. Don’t dwell on ifs or I wish, concentrate on “what to do now” and move forward.
Save things as a reminder of loved ones:
Although it’s painful now later on when you’re ready to save cherished things and photographs as a memory of your loved ones. It doesn’t have to be grand like a memorial but even small things like a favorite dress, pen, photograph, a locket anything which was their collected or cherished thing could be treasured and kept.
If somehow you feel that things are not in your control anymore and you’re losing it. Please feel free to talk with counselors or join groups. It helps a lot when you see people in similar situation and when they talk about how they’re coping with loss. It might seem like a big step to seek help but believe me it’s not.
It might look difficult but take one step at a time…
You might also like my post: Coping up with Depression.